From your description of things, you obviously understand what's at stake. I have seen too many parents push their kids into things, not for the kid's sake, but to satisfy something in the Mom or Dad (usually Dad, I'm afraid).

	Don Mellor Don Mellor Don Mellor has been climbing, writing about climbing, and teaching climbing for more than 25 years. Meet Don Expert Answers

My own daughter must have been about five when she began climbing. Near our home is a waterfall with a clean, easy slab off to the side. (She spent a lot more time playing in the water than climbing.)

When I first roped her up, she scrambled easily, then looked down. Mistake. She got surprisingly upset with her position and, predictably, she wouldn't trust her weight to the rope to come down. She was only five. She couldn't understand what I meant by"lean back." Nor did she have the motor development to get her limbs to obey her commands.

On the next trip up I approached things very differently. We climbed together, with her on one end of the top rope, while I used an ascender as a belay. This way, I could boost her, pat her on the helmet, sit and talk on every ledge. When we got to the top, I switched the setup to a rappel and together we descended. I could guide her and balance her throughout the entire descent. The only problem was keeping her hair out of the rigging. (This is easier if you extend the rappel device from a full-length sling girth-hitched to your harness, instead of hooking directly to your harness as is typical. Back it up with a prusik below the device so that you can free your hands to help her.)

I am not suggesting that you compromise safety. The biggest risk is that if the Dad falls, the kid isn't heavy enough for a counterbalance. You certainly don't want her head to be shaped like the interior of your anchor biners, so you might consider attaching a sling to connect you both.

	Climbing with Kids Read more about climbing with children.

Nor am I suggesting that an ascender or prusik is a real belay. Yet with 25 years of guiding behind me, I feel comfortable stretching into some unconventional practices that I would not suggest to my clients.

Remember: Kids don't need even a whisper about the ratings, the competitions, or any of the garbage that adults obsess over. There are only two rules: Have fun and be safe. This means that hanging on the rope is fine, carabiners are indeed handholds, knees were made for climbing, and swinging back and forth on the rope near the bottom of the crag is every bit as meaningful as climbing to the anchors. Topping out is no better than going up ten feet and playing around. There are no failures, because you aren't putting the experience in any kind of competitive context.

Elise is nine now. She seems only mildly interested in climbing. (I think she'd rather be Britney Spears than Katie Brown.) We'll go only when she suggests it, usually when she's got a friend over whose parents are OK with the idea. Interestingly, she has begun to worry about me and my climbing. This probably goes with the age. I must be careful . . . for her sake.

Good luck,
—Don

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