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Going Faster — A Cautionary Tale

How can I go faster on my bike?

Steve Jones's Answer:

	Steve Jones The author of four mountain-biking books, Steve Jones has logged thousands of miles of trails and backroads. Meet Steve Answer Archive Biking Forums

Nickolas,

Despite my almost-total current disinterest in moving very fast on a mountain bike — don't laugh; you, too, will one day come to understand that although there may be fast mountain bikers, and there may be old mountain bikers, there are no old, fast mountain bikers! — there once was a time when I was possessed by the thought of how I could achieve more speed for my steel steed.

Of course, I was much younger then. And there were some attractive young ladies who lived across the street and whom I desperately wanted to impress. And what better way, I thought, to etch my image in a young lady's mind than to speed nonchalantly down the street on my bike? So I tinkered all day with ways in which I thought I could gain more velocity on my modern-day velocipede.

Budding scientist that I was, I determined that one way to increase my speed was to decrease friction. I oiled all the moving parts I could reach and see: chain, pedals, headset (Hey, I was serious!), and then I started messing with a danger zone, the wheels.

These were the days before I understood the nature of sealed wheel bearings, when my judgment was overridden by desire for the attention of the neighborhood girls. So I loosened the hub nuts holding the front wheel to the fork, reasoning that I could decrease the friction produced at this juncture.

With my bike placed on its back, indeed, it seemed as though my front wheel turned more easily when the nuts were loose. I placed the bike upright and took a few test runs in the driveway.

Yes, I thought to myself, I feel speedier, and so I took the bike out onto the road in front of my house with a mighty thrust of my thighs. Just when I thought my speed was appropriate, I decided to pop a wheelie — which even back then was the ultimate expression of a person's coolness.

For an awful moment after the front wheel — which had been loosened too much to hold on to the fork — separated from the frame, I contemplated my fate. As gravity pulled me in a direction and at a speed faster than I ever wanted to go, I had the presence of mind to hold on to the upturned touring handlebars. When I hit the pavement, I had enough presence of mind to tuck and roll, thereby avoiding getting my helmetless melon mashed beyond recognition.

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